The Knowledge Board:
Depression
Welcome to the latest blog from The Patients Voice.
Depression can strike anyone at any point in their life. Due to the difficulty of recognizing the outward symptoms people experience difficulties at work and home because others expect them to 'snap out of it'. Depression is one of the most misunderstood of illnesses, although one of the commonest in the UK. At least one I in 5 people will suffer with depression once in their lifetime.
Here you can discuss the different types of depression and their treatment. In particular we are interested in your experience of the condition or living with a family member who suffers.
This allows you to tell your depression story and you can help us learn about the issues that are most important to you.
We are particularly interested in the following questions:
This is only a guide – so please feel free to bring up any pertinent issues that are important to you.
Remember, a blog is really like having a conversation with lots of people at the same time so please check back on the blog to see what others have said so that if you feel like adding to their thoughts you can. It's a conversation and a chance to learn and share!
As with all our projects, of which this ResBlog is one example, the responses of people who participate are anonymous. This is in line with market research codes of conduct. To participate all you need to do is scroll down to the comment area, type a nickname of your choice and then put your comments into the box. To find out more about what we do both in terms of work for our clients and our patient communities and resources please feel free to explore our web site further if you have not already done so?
We look forward to reading your comments and, of course, thank you very much for your input. Finally can I ask you to bear in mind when you blog that your comments will not just be read by other bloggers and The Patients Voice team but also the clients for whom we work. If you need more information on this or any other issues please feel free to get in touch with me at: belinda.shale@
Don’t Mind Me is also the name of the mental health group on the icarecafe. This is a space for you to discuss in more detail the issues raised in this ResBlog. It will also allow you to initiate discussions of your own and meet with people like yourself.
To have a look please go to:
http://www.icarecafe.com/?
Thanks for all your help
Belinda
Hi Everyone
Thanks for joining us
Best wishes
Belinda
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Sofia
06 November 2008
I have suffered from depression and had a bid breakdown several years ago, never seen a doctor and never taken medication. Currently suffer from anxiety and some panic attacks but after learning more about these conditions I am slowly getting more control in my life and not letting it take over my life. Wish to help people do the same without medication so taking a degree in Psychology. Hope I can offer some help.
J
07 November 2008
I have suffered with three bouts of depression in my 32 years.
The first was in my early 20s due to pressures at work and at home-I worked fulltime in a unit which looked after people who were highly stressed due to the treatment that they were having ( infertility). The constant sniping from the patients does get to you as well as getting caught up emotionally with your patients wanting them to do well and feeling deflated when the treatment doesnt work. During this time I was also the main carer of a disabled parent. My second bout was after a back injury left me incapicitated and in severe pain. ALso the medication I was taking - MOrphine was well known for being a mood suppressant.
The third and current depressive period has been caused by having a baby ie Post natal depression.
I have have had excellent support from the medical profession each time I have been diagnosed. Each time I have had anti depressants- although initially resisted with second bout and also PND. I have spoken openly about the depression with work collegues and family and friends with a mixed response. Lots of people cant understand that as I may seem happy on the outside that there are major problems going on with my grey matter. Some people have tried telling me that I dont really need the medication but I explain that depression is essentially a hormone imbalance and the tablets are ther eto help the hormones become rebalanced and once they have successfully been rebalanced for a number of months - and potentially any stress problems removed then it is possible to come off the tablets. I havent noticed any particular stigma directed towards me but maybe that is becasue I am so upfront and dont conform to the weepiing wailing jittery stereotype that depressives are portrayed as in the media- not to say that I am not like that behind closed doors though.
I have also lived with someone who suffered from depression and refused help denied that there was a problem and still continues to deny it to this day. The main body of that was during my first bout and I strongly suspect that the two are linked. There is only so mcuh time that you can spend with someone who is so obviously depressed before there behaviour will wear off on you- think if your sat in a room of happy children how often there smiles are infectious the opposite is also true.
Apart from medication I have found that exercise can help a great deal walthough it can be hard to get the enthusiasm for this with some of the symptoms.
tracy
07 November 2008
I have suffered with depression for the last 8 years. it started with the death of my dad with whom i was very close. i suppose i could say he was my best friend. a few months following that i had an accident and for the last 8 years have been in constant pain which hasnt helped my depression much. I have been on antidepressants now for the last 5 years or so. There is a lot of ignorance about depresion. people look at it as a "cop out" but to a sufferer it is real and it can be hell. Although my depression isnt as bad as it was it is still there, like most sufferers i have good and bad weeks/months. its nice to read comments from other sufferers as to how they deal with their depression and it makes you feel you are not alone.
ljh
10 November 2008
i have suffered from depression since my teens, i am now in my 40s, it started with low self esteem andcontinued after my first child at 18, i think i had pnd but it was never diagnosed. i started anti depressants a t the age of 30 after a bad break up with my husband, i w as on a nd of these tablets for 12 years and tried others which ended in psychotic behavoiur, i have recently changed my medication as i was hallucinating and having gruesome nightmares,i am now on escitolopram and the initial side effects seem to be diminishing although, i still suffer from nausea and headaches constantly. is till suffer from insomnia which i have had since i was 16. i have always kept this condition quiet for the nature of my job. but my current husand tries to be supportive
jane
11 November 2008
I have been battling with depression since i was 15 years old, due to something that happened when i was younger. I have been on all sorts of anti-depressants and at the moment I take venlafaxine. I have had the home treatment team in but they stopped coming in 4 weeks ago. Then basically i have been left on my own. I have an illness that is life threatening but is also triggered by stress and unfortunately you can never get rid of all stresses in your life, so for me its a vicious circle when i get stressed i get ill when i get ill i get stressed. I am not able to go to counselling as i soon as i start bringing things up i end up being really ill and landing up in hospital so they have told me counselling is no good for me, so basically i am stuck feeling the way i feel with no help. I see the psychiatrist every 6 weeks he asks how i am, i tell him and he either increases the drugs or says never mind will see you again in 6 weeks. Depression can make you feel very isolated and alone, and because of my other illness it makes things even worse. Was supposed to be getting a cpn but have heard nothing and every time i phone the hospital to find out what is happening they say they will phone me back and never do. People are always saying that people with mental health issues should seek help, but what is the point when if you do ask for help you don't get it.
Diana Collins
05 November 2008
Yes I have suffered from depression twice in my life where I have sought medical help. I was prescribed seroxxat and I have to say the that doctors were very sympathetic. In the first case I had very challenging things in my life which were not of my own making and once they passed I got better. In the 2nd case I was stressed out because of work and travelling. My doctor said I had to do what I had to do but her advice was to think carefully about that lifestyle. After much soul searching and doing sums I was able to reduce my work to 40% part time and I was a changed person. I am so grateful to that doctor who took the time to dig into what was wrong and not just prescribe drugs.
05 November 2008
In 1998 I was broken into during the day whilst I was away at work a chance burgley the police said. During Summer 1999 for no reason I found myself crying - family will tell you I had also become withdrawn - One morning in the shower I cried and cried and cried (I really thought I was going mad) I managed to ring my Mother who took me straight to the Dr's. I was offer medication and time off work - this I declined although my Dr kept a weekly eye on me. I took the rest of the day of work but went in the next day and told mr director what had happened - straignt away he said depression - he was/is also a sufferer - he gave me all the time and space I needed and slowly the days got better.
It never goes away, sometimes I feel that I am on the edge of a big black hole and its beckoning me in - I really have to put up a fight, no longer do I have tears just a sad feeling - during this time I make sure Im not alone - thats what the black hole wants.
I feel that without medication but with a caring family, Dr & Boss to a degree I have beaten this although it still lurks in the background.
AG
05 November 2008
I have suffered from depression for 5 years, once i was sectioned and put onto a mental health unit after taking an intentional overdose and having to be resuccitated after being found by a family member. I suffer from severe insomnia and anxiety attacks but after starting a nursing degree (and thus having more stress and work) have found doctors reluctant to helo at all. My work is suffering but they will not prescribe anything to help me sleep and it feels as though i am being ignored, i understand i have dealt with this for a long time but have not used sleeping tablets before for many periods and was not studying thus it had no effect on my other work. I wish one day i could feel enthusiastic about everything but right now i feel so stuck, counselling and CBT are all right for some people but we need to develop studies researching why people really have depression as i find it more debilitating than any physical ailment i have suffered with as it strips away any enjoyment in life.
05 November 2008
I was recently told I was suffereing from depression. For some reason they seemed surprised. For years i have had faecal incontinence. I had a very sore bottom, often so much that I couldn't bear to even wipe it, went o the toilet more than 20 times a day with constant chronic diarreah. I have accident sin so many embarassing places that I don't like to go near people. I now have a urostomy bag and a colostomy bag. I still produce over 2 liters of diareeah a day in my bag.I think I have earned the right to get depressed sometimes
Duncan
05 November 2008
My depression ocurred after i had been ill, i had heart surgery and found i could not do the same jobs as before, also i found that my diabetus had increased in its activity and i was trying to battle to much at the time, let alone working.When i found a job i found i felt inadequet but actual i later on i discovered my manager fought i was doing very well. but the feelings inside me made me feel as thou i was not good enough or i felt like a second class citerzen to my fellow workers. This was one side of me the other was at home where i found i had to try to keep up with house work and to present a front that everything was ok when really i felt terrible tired and always falling asleep. the doctor but me on some tablets for depression, these didn't help! if i was to decribe depression i would say its starts with an incident in your life and then its how you think people see you, but do you know in fact what others think of you doesn't really matter, does that make sense? when depressed it got worse for me as i would try to hide it and put up a front to protect myself from what others might say, the stigma of being hurt by someone elses cruel remarks cut deep and these scars you can carry for a long time, mine have. the worse thing is not to talk about it, or to bottle it up. i talked to my doctor.
sheila
05 November 2008
i suffer from chronic cluster headaches which have caused me to have bad depression and anxiety for over 10 years now. It was so difficult to get medics to believe me it was the pain of the dluster headaches that caused the depression and visa versa. I have tried numerous drugs and have found that venlafaxine and quetiapine suit me. To make matters worse i lost my long term partner of 20 years 5 yeas ago he had a sudden heart attack and died. He had never been ill and it was a terrible shock. He died in our bedroom within 30 mins and the ambulance people could not revive him. I was in a terrible state. I did have CBT which helped to a certain degree. I am lost without him he was so supportive. I still have the chronic cluster headaches and no drugs seem to help. I have on average 3 attacks a day. I do have scalp injections every 3 months which help a bit and sometimes i get several pain free days with them. My neurologist wanted me to have an operation but my PCT have refused to fund it, I am still very depressed because of the pain. My GP is very understanding and supportive as is my consultant,
Simon
11 November 2008
I too have cluster migraines and depression. I first had depression in my early 30s following the suicide of my Father. I recovered with medical support and councelling, but soon afterwards, I started getting the migraines. Most of the time I was OK and could get on with life and do my job well, but when the migraines hit, I was put under a lot of pressure. I was wrongly threatened with dismissal, dispite this being discriminatory on the grounds of disabilty. This pressure lead to deep depression, and several years later, eventually medical retirement.
For the depression I have venlafaxine and have had CBT. For the migraine, sodium valporate, maxalt, naproxen, and large dosages of soluable paracetamol. This regime has been quite successful, but I have recently had a bout lasting nearly a month, after a year nearly free. I can only have compassion for your situation, knowing just a little of what you are going through. It was my Christian faith that kept me from realising suicide, desite the loving support of my wife. But for me, I am now mostly OK, if vulnerable. I hope you will get the medical supportr you need and have somebody to fight for you. I have learnt that it so often takes a fight to maintain your interests, and this is so difficult when you are ill. Hang in there! Best wishes.
diane
05 November 2008
I have suffered from depression and agoraphobia for over 20 years now, i first took amitriptyline for it but when i had to see a different doctor to my usual (who was not very caring) she recommended changing to citalopram and that is a bit of an improvement. I have been to two support groups but group meetings are no good for me, i came away with more symptoms that i started with, i am soon going to have one to one councelling. I rarely leave the house and can not go further than round the corner to get bread and milk, I have terrible black moods and have trouble coping with life, if i could just not wake up in the morning i would be happy. I have no motivation to do anything, cooking, cleaning, looking after myself most of the time. I'm hoping the one to one treatment will help me.
James Jenner
05 November 2008
Hi, I am a long term sufferer from depression. I am still on anti depression tablets for which I can not get off. I am living a normal life with my wife and 2 young children. But what is normal ? When I was finally diagnosed with depression I was of work for nearly 2 1/2 months. The fist thing the Doctor said to me before signing me off was how do you feel are you back to normal. But how do I know what is normal, I can't remember if I am above the line or below the line of normality. I still have the 1 or 2 days ever 6 weeks or so, but I manage to get through it. I have told the people in work what to expect and they fortunatly have accepted it. Don't know if I will ever get rid of the problem, but one must carry on. Have good understanding friends, work collegues and family.
andreaj
06 November 2008
I too have suffered from depression due to family circumstances, I found a fellow sufferer to help me, just by being there to listen when I needed to talk. My GP was excellent but the counsellor was a waste of time she told me it's no wonder you're depressed. Things have ganged for tyhe better but there are days when I burst into tears. I try to find n hobby or go for walks to take my mind of myself. We need a new focus. For some people caring for an animal has helped. I try to get time where I can spend time doing what I want with no one else around. It helps.
John D
06 November 2008
I do have bouts of depreson and Fluoztine is what my doctor prescribes they help a lot but i can control when to take then nowdays
Angus Dei
06 November 2008
If I could I would like to point you in the direction of a couple of blogs I have written for NHS Exposed-behind the headlines.
www.nhsexposedblog.blogspot.com/2008/10/certified-insane.html
www.nhsexposedblog.blogspot.com/2008/09/this-guy-sings-blues.html
Thes writings express my personal experience of depression and "therapy"
Angus Dei
Grizzly
06 November 2008
I have been disabled since I was 16, which was 26 years ago, and I have suffered from depression all my life. It is only recently that I have obtained the help I need. My disability is degenerative, so it gets worse every year. In 1999 I was forced to stop work. It was then that I tried suicide twice as I couldn't face up to my future. I have been on anti-depressants most of my life, but they rarely worked. Within the past 2 years I found a doctor who actually understood my problems, he changed my drugs and the ones I am on now work better for me. He also arranged psychological help and psychiatric, the former helping more than the latter. Because of the high doses of morphine I have to take for the pain I react differently to other drugs, so it is difficult to find the ones that work. I found CBT gave me help in understanding how to cope with the thoughts I have, and ways of dealing with it, although the thoughts are still there. I have also found voluntary work which has given me something to get up for every day, helping other disabled people. I usually face the barrier of 'anyone would be disabled in your position' which doesn't really help me to deal with it. I have found that depression is an illness that you never truly get rid of. It will always be there, in the background, and every now and then will show it's face again. The trick is to learn ways of dealing with it, even of tricking yourself into dealing with it, as it's psychological not physical, if you can understand tricks and ways of changing the way you think it will help. I have come to a level plateaux where I can cope with my depression better than I used to. Sure it's not easy but it's better than being suicidal all the time. I have also found that, although I have difficulty talking to people, finding 1 person who you can talk to, who you know will keep it to themselves, is a great way to off load some of the pressure. I know that the people who suffer with my depression most is my close family, and ironically it's them that was thinking of when I tried suicide. It's amazing now to look back at that time and remember how and what I used to think, and the actual reality that was happening, they were two completely different thinks. Anyway, good luck to everyone else who suffers from this terrible illness.
vicki
06 November 2008
I was first diagnosed with clinical depression in 1997 when my daughter was 1 yrs old i think i had been suffreing a while before but then i had a bit of a breakdown i was put on citalopam which i am still on to this day i did have a small break from it but suffered a blip and went back to it This month my dose has been doubled i cant sleep cant stop crying and just not interested in things anymore i have thought of walking in front of a bus and finishing it but i think of my lovely daughter If only i could go to sleep for 10 years and wake up when things change. and she dosent need me anymore.
I'm 34 and started college in September only part time but even that is a big effort i wonder what happened to the old me I used to be in the police.
However even though i feel in a bad way i am sure there are plenty more of you feeling the same or even worse and i ish you all good luck and take one day or even minute at a time.
Susie
06 November 2008
I've suffered from depression - recently re-diagnosed as Bi-Polar II ("manic depression") since I was primary school age.
Two excellent psychotherapists did me a lot of good in terms of releasing anger at my 'weaness' as I' been led to view it, and undid much of the harm that two childhood admissions to psychiatric hospitals had caused.
Last month I was admitted as a middle aged adult to a pschiatric hospital - what a difference! They sorted out a complicated regime of meds which I get in a dosette box from the chemist, and an extra 'as & when needed' anti-agitation & anxiety drug.
I was terrified of going in, but just as terrified of coming out because I'd felt so safe there: I believe it (Royal Cornhill Hospital) has an excellent reputation and I would advise anyone who had a bad experience of hospital a long time ago, to consider an admission today, because, by golly, they seem to have changed for the better.
Also, the MHO and CPN help is marvellous .. it just didn't exist when I was growing up.
Wille9
06 November 2008
I have suffered depression, in varying degrees, for many years now. Years ago prescribed prozac and the usual anti-depressants but they made me zombie -like. My last bad period, brought on by stress, found my GP extremley supportive and helpful. was expecting to be just given a prescription and sent off but had a really good discussion, I still remember what we discussed and this was a few years ago. but was helped knowig that i could contact her at any time. Just knowing that i call call o someone at sometime really helped. CBT was useful, but it is easy to slide backwards after awhile if your situation doesn't change. was prescribed citalopram ,which helped and had none of the side-effects I had had with previous medication. also helped when i talked with a friend who was on the same medication, helps if you have someone going through a similar situation.
I really think the underlying cause of my depression is lonlieness, and that doesn't nessecarily being on your own, but felling isolated with no-one that "knows" you
Vixx811
06 November 2008
I have always had periods when I have felt really low, had no interest in anything but in 2001 I was diagnosed with depression. I had lost interest in absolutely everything and started suffering from really bad anxiety attacks. These normally happened after the event or when I was 10 or more miles away from home on a bus (I don't know why it was always when I was on a bus). The Dr gave me Seroxxat which I took for about 18 months, but to be honest they made me feel numb so i weaned myself off them. I was also referred to the Nurse Practitioner (Glenys, a lovely lady), talking to her really helped and then she referred me to a Psychologist. I haven't seen him now for about 12 months and even though life still gets me down and I do still get bad days I feel I can cope. I still get panic attacks but most of the time I can ignore them. I agree that feeling lonley and isolated does have an affect on you, if you have someone who understands it makes you feel better. Unfortunately my husband does not cope well with any form of illness, I had an operation on my foot 12 months ago and when I came out of hospital he sulked because he had to do all the food shopping himself. Luckily my Mum is a great support and my children are brilliant but I do try not to lean on them as they're only teenagers.Kiss
06 November 2008
i have suffered from depression since 1995. it started after the birth of my third child. i went to the doctors and was told it was post natal depression, then put me on prozac, they worked got back to normality, came off the tablets after about two years. then in 2000 i had my fourth child i found myself shouting at my baby, locking myself in the bathroom, didnt want to talk or see anyone. fortunately my husband recognised the signs and contacted the health visitor, how said i had post natal depression again an put me back on prozac. i had my medication changed to citalpram which seem to be fine. i also suffer from arthritis and under active thyroid which i will be taking tablets for the rest of my life. i am still on anti dressants to this day i still have good and bad days. i wish i could get off them as i am fed up of taking tablets,but that is unlikely to happen, you just have to get on with it. my husband and children are very understanding about my condition. that helps a great deal and they try and keep me on a even keel, which sometimes its hard but they are all brilliant.
Helen
06 November 2008
Is depression hereditry? Carried on through genes? My father attempted suicide numerous times and my mother is 'woe is me'! After an extremely lonely awful childhood my depression started in my teens. When I was 30 after years of emotional self destruct, and self loathing I had some very good councelling, arranged through ny workplace. I was emotionally overloaded and couldn't function. Sitting around like a zombie. I managed to put my life events into a sort of order and learnt to use mind over matter to a certain extent. It was and always is there the tunnel I slowly creep down. Unable to communicate or function I then hate myself and feel guilty adding to the pressure, the feeling of worthlessness and depression. I cannot take anti depressants as they give me panic and anxiety attacks. A few years ago i had a few sessions with a cpn who was great. One of my big problems is I have a very very good memory which is prone to remember things in silly orders but so graphically it could have happened yesterday. This triggers off feelings and thoughts i would rather not have. I also suffer more during the winter months, and do not see any purpose in anything. I find myself talking to myself knowing i have to go to the depths of despair before I can start pulling myself back up. I will sit all day crying and thinking wishing it didn't have to be like it is, knowing it is me who can change it but I can't because i can't see the light anywhere. I only see the black side. When the time is bad I can sometimes become paraonoid. I will say something to someone and then spend hours and hours and sometimes days wondering if I said it the right way or if they took it the right way or if they are talking about me. I spent an hour talking to a friend today about it all and with tears in her eyes said she she felt some of what I did and thought it was just her. She suffers mainly in the winter and said she could feel it moving on in! Please everyone who reads these blogs remember all these feelings are real to who feels them. Some of what depression sufferers say sounds pathetic and weak and snapping out of it is a poor thing to say. I would love not to feel like this. I would love the dark tunnel not to be there and the dread in my stomach as I lurch through these bouts to just disappear. Lets be more aware, talk more, write more and most of all listen more. Thoughts are with all sufferers for what ever reasons you are in the tunnel......hoping for some light for all of us soon.
Diane
06 November 2008
my story is that I got depression as I approached my 30th birthday, my life spiralled completely out of control, the stress was immense, it affected my relationship too, I was given medication as I could not eat, sleep, cried all the time, to begin with the medication helped but then I became worse, I hallucinated, saw things coming out of walls, the dosage was increased then I tried to kill myself, overdosing on my tablets, really I should have been sectioned but I was allowed home, given more tablets, this made me realise I was feeling worse taking the tablets & asked my GP to wean me off them, after I felt better, but the feelings never really go away & when stress becomes too much it can return, recently I have had a bad bout of crying not knowing why wondering if I am going mad...... luckily I know depression is so common, I do find laughter is one of the best medicines in the world, it's also free, mainly I can stop myself falling back into the black hole but it's always in the background waiting again.
katherine
07 November 2008
Just thought I'd quickly write, amongst the family chaos. I am 32yrs a mother of three.. 15yrs 8yrs &
18mts I first remember feelings of low/ suicidal from a early age...13yrs old. My mum says alot earlier.. My teen years were misrable..I saw a councellor for 3 years.
At 16 (1993) they said i had slight depression due to birth of son.. I then had bouts of lowness but nothing was done except councelling which still didn't help..In 2001 i had my daughter. My depression got worse. The midwife got me intouch with a group for other new mums that felt this way..............It was at this time my world changed..I was given medication..I then learned that life does go on..
In 2005 i was helped to reduce my meds to nil.. i still had minor relapses but nothing too serious..
In 2007 whilst pregnant i had many deaths around me.. and another break down. though i was pregnant i was put back onto meds. That helped me greatly in moving forwards with life.
18 months later, Life now is going well...I am hoping to reduce my meds to nil...I feel incontrol.
I feel my illness..DEPRESSION is like diabetes..my
natural chemicals in my body do not release the correct amounts
chris
07 November 2008
I first suffered with panic attacks at 27 after the birth of my third child. With very little help or advi ce I struggle for a few years with all day panic attacks it was horrific. Eventually I was given some serapax which help calm them down but I didnt like taking them. My life just continued on with no relieve in site I began to get depressed. I eventually went to a psychiatrist who prescribed atidepressents which helped the panic attacks but not the depression. The depression continued on and after many many medications and therypy I had very little choice left but to try hospital and ect. Well I can say truthfully I have come out of that worse than before I went in. I am back to having panic attacks and the depression is killing me. I read all these stories and people are always saying there is always hope well I have lost that hope for me. What do I do now?
Val
07 November 2008
I was diagnosed with depression over 8 years ago. I had lost both my mother and father and things were really bad in the family. My brother in Australia created problems at my fathers funeral. He came over to pay his respects and in the end showed no respect at all. He wanted to run things his way, when in actual fact my father had arranged his own funeral.He was not allowed to do this and on the day of the funeral telephoned me to say he was up in Norfolk when he should have been in Hertfordshire. He told me he was going home and not coming to the funeral. He was catching a coach to Heathrow. He ruined my fathers funeral, and 5 months later kept sending E-Mails trashing the rest of the family. I was still grieving, and couldn't take any more. I went to the doctor, and she prescribed medication. Since then I have been weaned off them twice, but am now back on them again, as my husband had an accident, is now disabled, and has been diagnosed with Prostate cancer. I just cannot seem to cope with stress anymore. I used to be a strong person but not any more. I don't like taking the medication but it keeps me sane, and the doctor has told me that I could be on them indefinitely as it is classed as a mental illness. Only time will tell if I ever come off them again.
sheltie
07 November 2008
Am currently on sertraline, dose has just ben doubled. So much going on in my life that I cannot control leaving me feeling helpless, scared, insecure and very lonely and depressed. I also have MS, which counts depression as one of its unwanted extras. My GP is very helpful, I go to a loal mental health charity a few days a week for a few hours and most of the activities help me plus I am with people who understand depression. I first had depression in the seventies when my marriage broke down - I was suicidal then as I could not cope with the rejection, it took 5 years for me to see the light at the end of the tunnel but what a destructive time that was. I can still remember all the bad feelings I had then and so often now the bad memories rear their ugly heads and pull me down. It is a self destructive vicious circle but so hard to break!! Hopefully I will feel happier soon and stop having to "put on my happy face" when I go out - so many people cannot see behind the mask and think there is nothing wrong with me.
Anne
07 November 2008
I have suffered from depression since I ws 16 I am now 63. I am depressed a lot of the time. Every day is a struggle its like walking through wet tar in a grey fog the worst time is on waking in the morning and in the middle of the night anxiety, panic attacks, and suicidal thoughts. My depression is clinical depression, not brought on by outside events, I have just been on holiday and I was still depressed most of the time.
The way I cope is by accepting it as part of me, trying to continue as normal, keep busy (I have to force myself its a struggle) not burdening others, listening to others,doing normal everyday things, watching my diet, this gives small moments of normality and even occassionaly I find myself even getting some enjoyment. I know that there are bad and good days, on the good days I find myself not feeling depressed all the time. On bad days I feel so exhausted I feel like I can not go on. I have medication that helps with the panic attacks and anxiety but these makes the exhaustion worse so it is a balancing act.
It is also worst in the winter months SAD and I now have a light box which helps.
I did have talking therapy but this did not help in my particular case.
My daughter is also bipolar which is a much worse form of depression as she had psychosis with it. It took 15 years to diagnose and if anyone is so suicidal that they continually try to commit suicide I would encourage them to seek out a good consultant. She is now on medication for this condition and is leading a fairly normal life. I understand from her consultant that some people who are suffering severe depression may be bipolar without the manic episodes that my daughter gets.
My son also suffers from depression most of the time and copes the same way as I do.
Finally, both my daughter and I have found that diet makes a big difference to our depression. Coffee and sugar being the two main culprits. By cutting down on these or even cutting them out we both have less bad days than when we are indulging ourselves.
I think in our families case as my mother also suffered from depression it gives an indication that depesssion could be inherited.
I would be interested to know if anyone else has a whole family with some form of clinical depression.
Adam
07 November 2008
Hi Do you have any suggestions as to particular recipes?
07 November 2008
I was diagnosed with depression from an early age. I've experienced symptoms like excessively negative thoughts, unexplained crying, withdrawing myself, sleeplessness, listlessness, inability to motivate myself to do anything & feeling life’s too hard to be worth it. The diagnosis was clinical depression but it can get worse due to outside situations; I was bullied at school until 1 day my mum found me lying on my bed staring at the wall & I said that that there was nowhere I could be or nothing I/anyone could do that would make me feel better. She got me moved to a different school & things improved slightly, but there was always this 'cloud' hovering over my shoulder, I seemed to be constantly dis-associated, on the outside of everything looking in. When I began work & made a few friends it was a better time but even then I experienced a downturn & ended up being signed off work for six months,1 friend told me that he felt that I should be able to 'pull myself together'. Interestingly he recently experienced depression after being diagnosed with diabetes & he’s said that now understands that 'pulling yourself together' isn't that easy. I have been on anti-depressants since I was first diagnosed, doctors have swapped me from 1 type to another; 1 type gave me hallucinations, another made me feel physically sick, others just seemed to stop having any effect. I have tried CBT which gave me 1 or 2 coping strategies to try. I've also seen counsellors a few times. While I'm visiting a counsellor I feel more constructive & positive & while for a time after the visits end I feel better, there's an inevitable downturn. I've realise my depression is cyclical & while there may not be a particular reason for it, if I take my medication, explain to family & friends that I'm having a hard time & treat myself with kindness & consideration, I can usually look forward to feeling better. After reading the blog I can see that there are many people who are having a much harder time of it than me & to all those people I wish to say, that while it may seem that you're on your own, you aren't. Attitudes to depression seem to be changing, so please don't be afraid to acknowledge what's going on within you. Further more don't be afraid to seek the help you need, because it can help. Good luck everyone!
Paul
07 November 2008
I'm 53, and have suffered bouts of clinical depression regularly, for most of my adult life, and sometimes for prolonged periods, since I was 16. I have been prescribed many different tablets, have seen various psychiatrists many times, but whatever treatment I have, I know the depression will return...on many occasions the depression is accompanied by anxiety and panic, which is sometimes more difficult to deal with than the underlying depression .I am resigned to the fact that whatever treatment I receive, it will come bouncing back in one form or another. The bouts of depression vary in intensity, but are entirely random and largely unpredictable. It is often those close to me who see the signs, rather than me, which is of enormous help.
Life is very difficult on occasions, and it feels like I am wading through treacle, but slowly but surely, the fog lifts, and some sort of normality returns. It is difficult to socialise when I am beset my morbid thoughts and irrational fears, and prefer to be accompanied when I go anywhere, especially to unfamiliar places. That gives me a sense of reassurance and security.It seems to me that people who have never suffered from depression have great difficulty in realising the effects it has, but speak to a fellow sufferer, and it brings a sense of great relief. 'I am not alone'
tg1701
07 November 2008
Hi,i suffered from depression some 12 years ago, it took me 18 months and a lot of therpy. I have recently been diagnosed with depression again, i could not sleep, became very aggitated and could not concentrate. I lost my wife to cancer in 2006 and my job 2 months later, i thought i was coping very well, but obviously not. I am back on medication, but there is always a light at the end of the tunnel, it is just sometimes a little dim.
j2ds
07 November 2008
I've been severely depressed twice.
The first time was way back when I was in business.When the "Fuel Shock" and its attendant galloping inflation struck. I sought business help and also took some psychotherapy/counselling. The counselling /psychotherapy was a weird and ultimately unhelpful experience.The business help worked, and I was able to trade my way to the point where I was able to sell the business. Its cause having been removed, the depression went away.
My current depression began during the latter stages of my wife's terminal illness.
After my wife died, I sold the house and attempted to build a new life for myself. I succeeded in this to a large extent, but knew I would have to find work to be able to sustain even the fairly frugal lifestyle I had chosen.I didn't expect finding a decent job to be easy. In fact it has proven almost impossible. Early on I was able to get a limited amount of part-time work in my chosen field which I hoped to build on. Alas, rather than building it has dried to an occasional trickle.
(Not long after beginning my job search, I made a promise to myself that, as I had to work for the rest of my life, then it had to be at something I enjoyed.)
I have spent a great deal of time and effort in trying to identify another field of work which would give me a reasonable degree of job satisfaction. Also I spent much time and wasted money I could ill afford on vocational counselling; so-called "career professionals". There was no usable, acceptable result.
My state of depression over the foregoing grew steadily worse as the situation grew worse. I sought counselling/psychotherapy in various forms. My experience has been that practitioners in the field of counselling are almost uniformly passive, ineffectual impractical individuals. I have, through bitter experience, come to regard the whole counselling industry as a sort of "sheltered workshop" for the very ineffectual.
I was living on the "dole", what work I could get, the very carefully husbanded remnants of my savings, and a certain amount of hope. Now I live on the pension, a dwindling trickle of work, and the very last of my savings. hope has all but disappeared. (Perhaps I should make clear that I do not live in the UK. Over here pensions are at bare subsistence level.)
Soon, in 6 months at most, my life will implode unless I can change the situation substantially. I am unable to do this by myself, and my search for help has shown me that there is none.
I will not surrender the remains of my self-respect, my personal integrity, my humanity to scrabble for sheer, pointless animal survival. Therefore I am currently putting my affairs into the best shape I can, and will shortly take my own life.
Brenda
07 November 2008
I have suffered from depression since I was 16 years old, I recently had my 50th birthday, so feel that I'm something of an expert on the subject. over the years I have taken anti-depressants, some of which made me put on weight & all left me with a horrid taste in my mouth & the feeling that I was living in some sort of muzzy cloud, where i just couldn't shake off the feeling of being drugged. I have had several years of psychotherapy, whaich i have found very useless, but it is very expensive & really I would like to be able to attend more than once a week, but due to financial restrictions & time limit availability on the part of my therapist this is not possible. I have good & bad days, have been hospitalised twice & currently struggle along as best as i can. i work part-time to fund my psychotherapy & these can be very difficult on the days when i am really struggling. iA couple of people where I work know that i suffer from depression as they too are suffers but its not something i tend to reveal to many people as there is still some much stigma attached to the illness. my family are the sort that feel you should just be able to 'snap out of it'. I do not find my GP very helpful at times either as she tells me I am behaving like a child, which may be true at the time, but it is the illness that makes me like it, as at other times I am a fully functioning person, capable of earning a living & raising a family, all be it a dysfuncional one!
Ionium
08 November 2008
Have you been diagnosed with depression or other mental health problems?
Long term clinical depression and flash backs (I think have PTSD though not been diagnosed as such as I have flashbacks) Attempted suicide six times now by way of over dose. Though I will no longer tell a GP that as they refuse to give me the medication that enables me to think straight...
Have you ever experienced stigma in relation to your condition and what form has this stigma taken?
From co-workers, family, friends and suprisingly most of all medical professionals/other sufferers. Form of stigma? the not being taken seriously, snobbery due to being "stuck" on benefits. The "I have had depression" argument off people who have suffered from Pre-natal depression or some other short term condition who think they know it all about your condition because "they have been there". Being short changed or over charged in retail establishments or other customer services because I was too depressed to stand up for myself due to lack of motivation.
Being "picked" up by the local police because they were scared i might do something crazy (read as Breach of the Kings Peace) and let out of custody with no charge, caution or arrest on two seperate occasions.
Have you been prescribed anti -depressant or anti –psychotic medication for your illness and has it helped. Have you noticed any side effects from the medication?
Yes, joint pains, nausea. Medication was helping then GP refused to give me it to me anymore, this has happened on more than one occassion which has resulted in me having to complain formally on more than one occasion. The Surgery I was at is not shutdown and I was informed the said GP in question was being just as lax in his duties with his other patients by another GP in the surgery.
Have you tried Cognitive Behavioural Therapy or Psychotherapy and what are your views on these forms of treatment?
Neither have worked for me but please see my answer to the stigma question. Talking does not solve problems it just opens wounds that should be left alone. I also do not like being treat like a naughty 8yr old kid who is given homework...
Doreen Porter
09 November 2008
I was born with a renal disease, which has meant many operation and long stays in hospital. This alienated me from my siblings, who resented my presence in the family home. I was always ill and required care when I was a child.
The depression started when I was about 13, all those hormones creating havoc. I was told that as I grew older things would get better, meanwhile I should "pull myself together"
All that was a long time ago, I am 60 now, I still suffer from depression, I still have a renal disease. I still take anti-depressants, currently Citalopram, but in the past Valium, Librium, Prozac (for about 15) years - I really became a shiny, happy, person - didn't feel anything, Learned to fake emotions because I had become so impassive to the feelings of others, people thought me cold and unfeeeling (unfeeling! that's a laught).
After the death of my mother, I was sent to counselling, the first few weeks were on the NHS, but then I was expected to pay, I paid as much as I could afford for as long as I could, then it became just too expensive and that in itself became a worry, which caused more depression.
I cry a lot, spend far too much time alone when I dwell on all the things that are wrong in my life. I just wonder when will I get over this . I seem to spend most of my life under a thick black curtain teetering on the edge of a deep dark void.
Charley
10 November 2008
Doreen, it can be hard to find your way sometimes but keep looking for something positive in your life. Do you have a special friend who you can have a coffee with when things get tough? I took the step of joining a gym because I didn't like the way I looked. I couldn't go on my own so persuaded my daughter to come with me - I'm still a member but go on my own and work with a trainer. Yes, I still have bad days, yes I'm back on Citalopram 'cos I can't cope with huge amounts of stress like I did last year, but I'm going to keep trying to beat this dark cloud. Good luck and turn your face to the sun - it's out there waiting for you.
ALISON
09 November 2008
I have had depression since the age of about 12 when both my parents died (3 months apart). i am now 44 years old and have recently been taken off mitazipan one of many anti depressents i have been on. to be honest i dont remember all the different ones ive had.Because this happened when i was young i was bullied at school and from who i thought were my friends at the time. Ive never forgave them and since leaving school they have never been in contact with me so i am basically on my own trying to deal with every day life. i find it hard especially at this time of year as it was in November that my mother died at work. I think what scares me is that i dont want my children to go through what i did. Ihope that its not heredity, as when i was a lot younger i use to find my mum unconsious on the floor. I think she just had enough. I pray my children never go through this. Ive also been diagnosed with SAD which i knew from the age of 16, i just want to be rid of all this darkness and feeling of worthlessness. I am a fighter and have come through a lot in my life, be it abusive relationships, bullying from friends/work colleges. I will continue for the sake and wellfare of my children. Im not mad im just a bit different from most people but i do have a lot to give if given the chance. If i could just stop thinking about all the negative things in my life past especially . Ive been trying to cope without medication because my doctor wont prescribe me any more, thinks its about time i went it alone so to speak and that makes me annoyed,angry whatever as i feel they just want me off this and back into work. Ive been out of work for 3 years now due to the stigma and nasty behaviour at work and because i called them a bunch of reprabrates (which i was sacked for i might add). Never took it further because in the end i was just glad to be out of that hell hole. The thing that getsme is that the majority of people if they are honest have some form of depression they just dont tell or show it .Its alright for some eh!
Julie
10 November 2008
I have suffered from depression since my teens - now in my 40s - tried almost every anti-depressant, counselling - absolutely nothing helped - felt a little better, weaned off drugs then back to square 1 - doctors do not understand, it is so annoying - then I read an article about fish oils, have been taking high does of fish oils for 2 years now - no anti-depressants, and I now have a more stable life - its not a cure but boy it does help by at least 80% - youve got to be persistent it takes around 8 weeks before the fishoils start helping - depression is such a limiting illness - its horrendous and more needs to be done to investigate/people ie doctors need more understanding/training in depression.
Charley
10 November 2008
I'm just pulling out of my second bout of depression. The first came about four years ago following the sudden death of my ex-husband, the breakdown of my relationship with new partner and then my mother had her own type of breakdown. I suddenly couldn't take anymore and went to my doctor. I received a great deal of sympathy from doctor and my line manager. Both encouraged me to take time off work, begin acourse of tablets and have a few sessions with a counsellor. I began to understand that I had been through a lot in my life that wasn't quite normal but which I had brushed under the carpet. My ex-husband had subjected me to various forms of abuse, all non-violent but nonetheless equally destructive. I had very little self-confidence or self-esteem and that's where we started. I took the tablets for six months then stopped, joined a gym and began to put my life back together. You may well ask so what happened this time? I was under a lot of stress and tension at work - little support was offered and I had to relinquish my role and move down a grade. This was OK for a while but in July this year I found myself crying and feeling that everything was hopeless again. My personal trainer was supportive but felt that exercise alone should be enough - I didn't agree so am back on the tablets. I understand now that, for me, stress plays a large part in how much I can control my life. I've just changed jobs which has a lower stress level and am putting more emphasis on my sports training - I'm beginning to feel more stable but will only come off the tablets when I feel it's the right time. I now realise that I came off them too early the first time because of the stigma attached which I also thought could affect my chances of promotion. It helps that my daughter also has been diagnosed with depression and we act as a support team for each other. People often don't understand how you feel and I guess for that reason it feels like you have to hide how you are feeling. I still have bad days when I just want to curl up and be left alone but I make the effort to keep going because I know I can get through this. Yes, it's hard sometimes to see the positive things in life but then I read back through e-mails or text messages that remind me of good and funny times - that helps. Cuddling the cat helps too!! And my trainer is now learning how to encourage me without de-motivating me. Guess you have to educate other people as well. I have a few good friends, a busy life and like being single - life will get better.
ally
10 November 2008
I have suffered from depression for most of my life. I am now 32. I have several chronic illnesses which doesn't help with the depression. My depression is linked very closely to my childhood abuse. I suffered a breakdown last year and am still struggling to get back onto an even keel. I have tendencies to self harm, not take my medications for my various conditions, I see it as a way of getting control when I feel so out of control. I have had some formal therapy but it doesn't appear to have much effect. Life does go on but sometimes it is very difficult
Julie
11 November 2008
I was diagnosed with depression almost 4 years ago, after the death of my Mother. I also suffered a breakdown. I put my new husband through stress too. I was sure he was having an affair with my best friend, which I later found to be untrue. The medication has been changed this year as I have epilepsy. Numerous tests are being done, and I am ok with myself now. Life does go on, and I keep thinking things will get better.
mouse
12 November 2008, 20:18:56
“My first episode of depression was when i was 13yrs and it was the scariest thing ive ever encountered like suddenly falling into a big black hole, and not knowing how to get out again, for a while everything seemed dark and despair, and i developed a terrible fear of death, and felt something was out to get me. I later realised that this maybe due to the more psychotic symptoms you can experience with depression. My family and friends did not understand what was going on, so i didnt receive any professional help. By the time i was 16yrs I was unfortunately self-harming too out of frustration for the intensity of feelings i had inside.
Eventually the things that gradually helped me out of that spiral were changes in lifestyle - travelling abroad for the first time and getting myself to university. I realised there were things worth living for.
Ive had several smaller bouts since, and regularly have odd days when im very tearful, feeling very low, with no self esteem, very indecisive and unable to concentrate, when i dont feel i can cope with work or life - the following things ive found have helped: St Johns wort, natracalms when feeling agitated, understanding more about the symptoms so they do not feel so 'abnormal' and you dont feel so alone in what you are going through, talking or writing to good friends, remembering the good times youve shared (maybe by looking at photos) getting out of the house if even for a short walk, swimming (getting the endorphins going), listening to relaxing uplifting music, and especially having a faith and hope. Even though when you are in the midst of it all it certainly does feel that it will never end, do not give up hope, take strength from the battles that you have already conquered with this condition. (though i do reminding of this too when im having a down day!) but Life does get better again.
michael oldland
14 November 2008, 21:07:55
“i have read a lot of the blogs posted, i feel
very sorry for all of you you have had long bouts of depression, being miss understood by the medical profession.i have had depression on and off for many years, my mother died when i was 11 months old, my father put me and my brother in a home,i was 2years and 6 months, my brother was 4 years old.where we were physically and mentally abused,
eventually my father married one of the people working in the home, he took us out of the home, where beating were frequent, one day poker, next day the belt
or he would use his fist, bouncing of the walls in the hall, my ears were damaged internally, and still have these problems
i did try to end it all, it seemed the only way out of this hell hole, this is only a small part of what went on.i was luckyi met a young lady we married and are still married after 45 years,but she paid a price
of the baggage that came with me. later my health declined when i was 53, it started with a heart attack,in hospital i was found to be diabetic,which my then doctor failed to diagnose it 12 years earlier.i get bought of depression regular now as i have 42 medical conditions only 5 are serious, i have aorta anurysm, doctors keep saying we can not operate on you that makes me feel worse.i was diagnosed
by a dr. obrien at southend trust hospital, a very good doctor, i have taken anti depressents,amitriptyline was one, i woke up like a zombie in the morning took some time to get my head together.i was
then put oncitaloprami have stopped these now, i would cry if i could, the last time i cried i was a child of seven.do i still have thoughts about ending it all yes, the one person that stops me doing it is my wife
she would be lost and vunerable, i can not
leave anyone with that memory after 45 years.i handle it now by joking with people
and trying to have fun. from the dark world
i wish you all well regards mike
Patricia Thomson
17 November 2008, 20:31:11
“I first suffered depresssion when i was 15 years, when i lost my dear mum to suicide.
My father remarried when i was almost 16 years old. I then married when i was 18 years and had a daughter and a son.
My husband worked overseas, so i spent time in hospital, but brought them up singly. Since then my husband took a stoke and understand him. Now my children are grown up and have a son and daughter each, I do not see my daughter just now, because of in law problems, but i hope and pray that one day she will reach out to me. I am on a drug called rispirodne and an antipressents, and also work part time at Barnadoes charity shop. It has given me my life back. More in control. My phyciatrist is very good his name is Dr Paul Sclare, and i feel he knows me well to understand where i am coming from. I still get upset from time to time, but can talk about it more openly now. Patricia Thomson
martha_fab
18 November 2008, 17:21:12
“Firstly, j2ds - don't do it! Think of the people who would miss you. Even if you don't think there is anyone, I can assure you that there is. I have considered suicide on numerous occasions but having witnessed the effect on those left behind, I couldn't cause that hurt, pain, all the feelings I want to leave behind, on my family, friends, colleagues.
I think my depression started when I was 14 or 15. I had problems from starting high school at the age of 10 but it was when I was 14 or 15 that I started cutting myself. My sister found out and eventually told my mum who took me to the doctor. I'm incredibly lucky in the fact that my doctor at the time was very good and also my sister and dad were already seeing a brilliant psychiatrist so I got referred straight on to him. We've been seeing him ever since (I'm now 26) and he really is a godsend. Dad is bi-polar and had seen many shrinks in his life who had said it was just depression. It was only when he started seeing this one that he finally got the diagnosis and treatment he needed. Sister has depression, bordering on bi-polar, along with OCD, agoraphobia, anxiety. She started counselling when she was 7 or 8 but again didn't get a proper diagnosis and treatment until this shrink (when she was about 16). We strongly suspect that dad's mum also had mental health problems, along with her dad. Our family are strong believers in the genetic theory! But it makes me terrified to have kids of my own.
I have been on every anti-depressant you can mention! My problem is that they all seem to work to being with (although I have had side-effects - dry mouth, thirst, lack of appetite, increased appetite, over-active thyroid, insomnia, hallucinations) but eventually they stop having an effect so I have to move onto the next one. I've also tried fish oils but they didn't seem to make much difference. I fully expect to be on tablets for the rest of my life and I'm fine with that idea. If they help me to function 'normally' then just keep them coming!
(part 2 to follow)
martha_fab
18 November 2008, 17:21:34
“As I said, the brilliant shrink is a godsend. As a family we have seen so many bad 'professionals' that we're not letting this one go. We do have to pay but we're lucky to be able to afford it. At the moment it's only dad that sees him regularly but I still see him when I can and my sister can see him when she needs to. She has made the biggest progress - going from not being able to leave the house for two years, sleeping for about 20 hours a day and taking about 25 tablets a day to having a good job and not taking any medication.
I think the biggest stigma we've faced is from medical 'professionals'. We've had counsellors who say the problem is not medical but caused by the family, GPs who have basically said 'pull yourself together', nurses who admonish us for calling ourselves nutters. That is where training and education is needed.
I think it really helps to talk to someone who has really been through it, not just having had a bout of depression but living with the constant day-to-day battle of teetering on the edge of despair, crying for no reason, feeling like crying but not being able to, feeling flat, not being able to concentrate, not being able to think of words in the middle of a sentence (that drives me mad!), losing a thought mid-sentence, not being able to be with people. It really is horrendous and no-one can understand it unless they have been through it.
Good luck to all of you who have :o)
Marilyn
19 November 2008, 11:16:16
“I have suffered depression for nearly 7 years after having a breakdown following a brain haemorrhage and burst aneurism. I am still on antidepressants and do not think I will ever work again. Also I continually worried that someone was going to die, when it happened to my brother aged 54 it was horrible. I reularly see a psychiatrist which does help and try to keep myself busy but I still have my moments. My husband is an absolute saint to look after me.
Jen
20 November 2008, 13:11:54
“I was diagnosed with depression in July 2000. I was encouraged to take fluoxetine. I had a doctor who turned out to be so good when it came to depression and gave me much more time than she probably should have. In July 2002 I moved to Scotland. My new gp referrred me to a day unit. I should have just turned away and said that the unit wasn't for me but me being me stayed and tried to fight to change things and my mental health suffered even more. I began to see a psychiatrist.
When I was first ill I worked for a social work dept and had 2 months off sick. I imagined that they would understand. How wrong I was as the stigma was awful. No one welcomed me back to work, or told me where my personal stuff was. It was only at my unions insistence that I was referred to occupational health. The doctor there completely backed my gp's treatment and went so far to say that if I wasn't supported I would be off again. I was offered a phased return to work about 2 months after I had returned on full time hours and felt obliged to take it. If it wasn't for the support of my union and my gp I don't think I would have made it through. Eventually I had to resign from my work in the summer of 2001 and haven't worked since. I now speak out about my experiences of mental health problems and stigma and hope that my story helps other people.
The first psychiatrist I saw wanted to change my medication and that begun a series of different antidepressants, some gave me bad side effects and one gave the darkest times I have known and changed my personality to something I really didn't like and scared me. I felt like I was treated like a numpty. Eventually I found my voice and asked for choices about meds which they didn't like. It came to being given one that made me so groggy in the mornings and always waking with headaches and reaching for painkillers I decided that enough was enough and asked to go back on to fluoxetine. With the fluoxetine the results may not be the best they can be but it is a med I can live with taking. I now see a different psychiatrist.
I have tried CBT and psychotherapy. CBT didn't work for me as I felt like I was being told that it was all about my thinking being wrong and that it was the practicioners way or no way. It was like I was a naughty child and I wasn't up for that at all. I felt that I wasn't going to be listened to or support and that all the time would be spent going over the past few weeks either that or they would be brushed off and also I am not to good with words for feelings/emotions as I have limited words for the degree of feeling. With psychotherapy I was just expected to sit and talk. When she did speak she was determined to put everything on to my childhood when I had a very good childhood.
Jay
24 November 2008, 10:31:02
“I have suffered with depression since I was 18. It was very severe during the first bout and I could not cope with everyday things such as getting up, going to work and staying there. I'd get there at 8am and hva eto go home by 8.30am. This has continued for almost all my adult life - making my poor husband and children's lives a misery. I have been lucky that my husband is understanding although at first it was difficult for him to understand and also my parents. My most recent serious bout was 13 years ago and I was working and at college and had two small kids to look after. The feeling of hopelessness and every day being the same where you get up, do the same things as the day before, go to bed, and get up the next day and do exactly the same things are overwhelming. I am still on medication although it is a fairly low dose now but I am aware that it can start all over again at any time. I have tried various medications with a lot of them making me feel worse - Seroxat and Prozac being the worst. They made me paranoid and antsy. I could not sit down and relax and was certain everyone was out to get me and put me into a mental hospital! My current medication is Dosulepin and it works well for me.
sheila
24 November 2008, 13:07:21
“Just a few lines to say that a number of years ago i suffered from depression which my GP put down to the stress of looking after my disabled husband ,2 diabled daugters as well as looking after our other 2 daughters . My husband suffers from post tramatic syndrome and depression from when he was with the forces He broke his back while serving in the forces when he went to his doctor he was told that there was nothing wrong with him and that he was trying to skive of work. When he did see a professional in a 5 minute appointment the doctor ask him if he thought the world owed him a living.
My husband has some good days but not very often he has tried varios anti depression tablets over the years , he find frustrating at times and as serious thought of ending it all . He cant explain what its or why . At times I feel abandon the only restspite I had was when my husband attended the Edward Parry Cente to give both of us a break but he has now been told that he can no longer attend so now I have at home 27/7 with no support at all
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